Overcoming Imposter Syndrome as a Coach: My Personal Story

The first time I considered becoming a coach was in 2014. I was working with an incredible coach at Fortnum and Mason, and I remember thinking, “I want to do that.” But the thought was fleeting. I wasn’t ready. In fact, I wouldn’t be ready for quite some time.

Fast forward to 2019, the thought came back. I was older, maybe a bit wiser, but still, something held me back. “Who am I to be a coach?” That question echoed in my head and stopped me from taking action. Then, in 2021, after years of self-doubt and overthinking, I finally took the leap and began my coach training with Nova Terra. But that voice, that inner critic, was still there, whispering “Who do you think you are?”

The Weight of Not Belonging

Growing up gay, I’ve always struggled with belonging. That constant search for a place to fit in, a space to be accepted, has been a theme throughout my life (I even wrote about it here). It’s no surprise, then, that imposter syndrome has accompanied me on my journey into coaching. Even now, years later, with over 500 hours of coaching experience and a PCC accreditation with the ICF, there are moments where I feel like I don’t belong—like I’m not enough.

I think that’s what imposter syndrome is at its core—the feeling that no matter what you’ve achieved, no matter how far you’ve come, it’s never enough. There’s always that nagging doubt that someone’s going to tap you on the shoulder and say, “We’ve made a mistake. You don’t belong here.”

Finding My Voice in Coaching

For me, finding my voice in the coaching industry has been a journey in itself. It hasn’t been a straightforward path of success, and I’ve often questioned whether I should even be in this field. I still remember the first time I said it out loud: “Who am I to be a coach?” It was like lifting a weight off my shoulders, acknowledging the fear that had been holding me back. But the more powerful response that followed was this: “Who am I not to be one?”

This shift in perspective didn’t come overnight. It was a slow, often painful process of confronting the stories I had been telling myself—stories of inadequacy, of not fitting in, of not being worthy of the title “coach.” But in this industry, where we help others find their voice, it became crucial for me to find mine.

Even Now, Imposter Syndrome Lingers

Imposter syndrome is not something that just goes away once you’ve achieved a certain level of success. I still feel it, whether I’m writing my book, developing a new coaching tool with Nova Terra, or even now, as I write this blog. There are times when the doubt creeps back in, making me question if I’m good enough.

It’s especially difficult when I have a coaching session where the client feels blocked, and suddenly, I feel blocked too. I start to wonder, “Am I failing them? Should I even be doing this?” In those moments, imposter syndrome can hit the hardest, making you feel like you’ve somehow failed, not just yourself, but your client.

Sharing Vulnerability with Purpose

I’ve learned that vulnerability can be a powerful tool, both for myself and for my clients. Once, after a particularly tough session, I shared with my client that I felt like I had failed them. It was a risk, but I felt it was important. My client had been demonstrating rescuer tendencies, so I thought, “What if in rescuing me, they find the solution to their challenge?” The impact was profound. By opening up and showing my own vulnerability, I created a space for my client to reflect on their own behaviors and tendencies. It became a pivotal moment in their coaching journey, and in mine as well.

The Takeaway

Imposter syndrome doesn’t go away just because you’ve achieved something. In fact, it can often get louder the more you accomplish. But the key is learning to live with it, to challenge it, and to keep showing up anyway. Every time I feel that doubt creep in, I remind myself of the question that has carried me through this journey: “Who am I not to be a coach?”

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that belonging starts with you. It starts with accepting who you are and owning your journey, doubts and all. And in doing so, you create the space for others to do the same.

Imposter syndrome may never fully disappear, but it doesn’t have to stop you. In fact, it might just be the thing that pushes you forward.

For the next blog, inspired by this writing, we’ll dive into supervision, what happens when you hit a wall with a client, and how to navigate those tough coaching moments…