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As an extrovert, I thrive on connection. Being around people, whether it’s in a lively training room or in one-on-one conversations with clients, fuels me. I feel nourished by the exchange of ideas, the mutual learning, and the energy that comes from shared experiences. But, like many coaches, I also face stretches of solitude — sometimes for days (or most recently weeks). These moments can be tough. The challenge isn’t about being alone, but about managing energy and maintaining resilience in a profession where your capacity to support others is so intertwined with how you manage yourself.
The Solitude of Coaching
Coaching can be a lonely profession at times. We give so much of ourselves to our clients that when we’re not in the room with them, we may find ourselves drained, reflecting on our own lives. Today was one of those days. I went for a walk around Lake Genval, close to where I live, seeking some purpose or clarity in my solitude. But even as I walked, I found myself struggling to find meaning in the day. It’s a feeling I’ve had before — a sort of restlessness that comes when my calendar isn’t filled with the usual human interaction I thrive on.
It was during this walk that I started to think about resilience. Coaching, like any profession that demands a lot emotionally, requires us to constantly rebuild ourselves. But what does it mean to be resilient as a coach? And how do we nurture it, especially during those times when the world feels quiet and still?
Resilience in Adversity
One of the biggest challenges I face is the solitude that comes with this wonderful profession. It’s in these quieter moments that self-doubt can creep in, whispering that I’m not doing enough or that I’m somehow falling behind the myriad of other professionals out there. And yet, it’s also in these moments that I find an unexpected strength. Creativity, for instance, often comes to me when I least expect it, when I’ve been alone with my thoughts long enough to hear them clearly.
Today, as I walked, I noticed the trees around the lake. Each one was at a different stage of transition — some were just starting to burst into hues of red, others golden, while some had already shed their leaves entirely. The metaphor wasn’t lost on me. Autumn is a powerful reminder of the beauty in change and the necessity of shedding what no longer serves us. The trees, bold in their colors, reminded me of the cycles we all go through. Just like nature, our most vibrant moments often come just before we let go of the old, making way for new growth.
That’s when it hit me — resilience isn’t just about surviving adversity. It’s about embracing change, letting go of what no longer fits, and making room for something new to emerge. In fact, resilience is the act of being both bold and vulnerable. It’s about staying open to the process, no matter how uncertain or uncomfortable it may feel.
Supervision: A Lifeline for Resilience
This is where supervision comes in for me. It’s been my anchor when those periods of solitude feel overwhelming (and I’ve written a bit about the power of the process here). In fact, I wouldn’t be where I am today without the support of supervision. I entered supervision shortly after qualifying as a coach. I had a lot of clients early on, which was fantastic, but I found myself facing some significant challenges. One client, in particular, had me feeling stuck. The resistance in our sessions mirrored something I was dealing with in my own life, and I struggled to know how to proceed.
Supervision gave me a broader perspective. It allowed me to step back, zoom out, and see the situation from a wider lens – and to breathe! A super-vision in which to bask and re-energise. And more than that, it taught me that resilience doesn’t mean having all the answers. Sometimes, resilience is about seeking support — acknowledging when you need another perspective, another set of eyes, and a safe space to reflect.
This is why I’m now on the path to becoming an accredited supervisor with the Coaching Supervision Academy (CSA). I believe deeply in the power of supervision to disrupt old patterns, to offer new ways of seeing, and to support coaches in building their own resilience. I encourage anyone in the coaching profession to explore what supervision can offer.
The Role of Solitude in Building Resilience
While supervision provides me with external support, there’s also something essential about those moments of solitude. As much as I struggle with it, solitude has its gifts. Without it, I wouldn’t have the space to reflect, to write, or to plan for the future. It’s in the quiet that I’ve been able to make progress on my book ‘The Ultimate Coaching Handbook’ coming out November 28th 2024, and even start brainstorming ideas for a completely different follow-up.
Solitude, I’ve come to realize, is not something to avoid but something to embrace. It gives us time to shed old thoughts, habits, and beliefs, much like those trees shedding their leaves around Lake Genval. It’s during these times that we can clear the way for new growth, new insights, and new ways of being.
A dear friend of mine, Lucy, who works with nature in her capacity as a coach (see https://www.lucyellenhill.com) supported me with this very reframe this past week. She reminded me that just as nature moves through cycles of expansion and contraction, so too do we. And just as the trees around the lake are boldest in their colours at the end of their cycle, we too can find our greatest strength and resilience in moments of change.
Resilience in Action
Building resilience isn’t something that happens overnight, although it can sometimes be talked about in that way. It’s a process, much like the changing seasons. There are times when you’ll feel bold and vibrant, and other times when you’ll feel like you’re shedding parts of yourself. But in the end, resilience is about staying the course, even when it’s uncomfortable. It’s about trusting that every cycle has its purpose, and that with each new transition comes the opportunity for growth.
If you’re a coach navigating your own challenges (fellow coach or otherwise), I encourage you to lean into those moments of discomfort. Find a support network, whether through supervision, coaching, or even a walk around a lake (if you’re in the Brussels region, I am available for all three). Remember that resilience is not about being invincible — it’s about being adaptable, open, and willing to grow.