You know, we say in coaching that we coach the person, not the problem. It’s true. Who I am as a coach is not separated from who I am in my non-professional life. What I have experienced in my life shapes so much of coaching identity – and the same is true for the identity of my clients.
For me, living with deep rooted shame for so long – and then recognising it, and slowly accepting it really has been a gift. It’s no surprise that over years of grappling with shame and what that means to me, I’ve slowly developed a passion in Assertiveness…
Here are my Four Pillars to an Assertive Life:
Mindset: Acceptance is key. I have my own version of the serenity prayer which has helped: Grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one person I can, the wisdom to know that person is me (and the knowledge that if I don’t, I’ll end up in prison or committed to some other asylum).
Movement: Exercising daily; from yoga, to running or CrossFit, a healthy body definitely connects to a healthy mind. More so, I find that being able to move my body and adapt, away from a fixed notion of ‘Dad Bod’ to something formless, where I can create my own shapes, structures and namely – my own identity.
Nutrition: What I eat feeds into how I feel. The healthier I eat, the healthier I feel. I’m conscious of my alcohol intake and what I put into my body. More so, I’m conscious of what I digest in my mind. I have a very simple diet of zero social media (except for business needs) and I regulate my intake of non-stop news, choosing to go old-school and read the newspapers (albeit online and electronic)!
Recuperation: Taking timeout, not ‘knowing’ when to say no, but feeling when the time arrives to say no… listening to the little signs in me, listening for the little signs in others that indicate when it is time to step back, slow down and/or recharge.
These are four pillars that work for me; through some challenging coaching, many powerful questions from my unofficial mentor and reflections from my cohort @NovaTerra, I have been blessed to understand what and how these learnings can work for me, to make me stronger and help me to move forward.
Perhaps you know your pillars already? Or maybe one or several are under construction?! You might only want a column on which you can stand proudly. Find what feels right for you. Most of all, wherever you find yourself in your journey of self-discovery, enjoy it!
And for some deep-rooted challenge and razor-sharp reflections, get in touch.
You can contact me via gareth@coachingbrussels.eu or give me a call on +32470664198 and have a chat the old fashioned way. I look forward to hearing from you!
Grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one person I can, the wisdom to know that person is me (and the knowledge that if I don’t, I’ll end up in prison or committed to some other asylum).
Gareth | 03.11.22
