Blue Monday. The most depressing day of the year, right?
Or a self-fulfilling prophecy encouraging us to fall into the marketing department’s trap?
In coaching, I’m often asking myself or my clients the question; what’s the truth in what you just said. What’s the truth in that statement? What is the truth then, when it comes to ‘Blue Monday’?
The notion of Blue Monday comes from a complex mathematical formula –
A Welsh academic named Dr Cliff Arnall generated an equation arguing that the third Monday in January is the year’s most unbearable. Apparently, weather (w), your debt (D), your monthly salary (d), the time since Christmas (T) and the time (hours, days, who knows?!) it took to fail your New Year’s resolutions, divided by (Q) with motivational levels (M) and a need to take action (Na). Doesn’t it look so professional and convincing?! It just so happened to rise to fame because it was also used by a travel company in the UK to encourage people to book their holidays as some form of escapism. I mean, you can’t argue with (pseudo)science, can you? Where would the shampoo industry be without it?!
Now, I’m not suggesting that this isn’t a difficult time of year for many, nor that my shampoo doesn’t give my hair (that which remains) a glossy, healthy shine! There are many variables that are cited in the above formula which undoubtedly affect people’s mental health. 1 in 4 people will have challenges to their mental health in their lifetime; but subjugating people to the idea that they are not in control of their emotional state; that they have no agency over their feelings on a specific day is (as we say in coaching) a very strong belief to hold.
Subjugating people to the idea that they are not in control of their emotional state; that they have no agency over their feelings on a specific day is (as we say in coaching) a very strong belief to hold.
So let’s recap. What exactly is Blue Monday? What’s the truth?
Is it a Monday? Yes
Is it a day of the week? Yes.
Is it a day where everything is blue? No.
Is it another day, like any other, just with an adjective relating to emotion attached? YES. And YES.
So what can we do? The classic response is to ‘fight the Monday blues’, but I find that rather unhelpful. It just reinforces the idea that the Monday Blues exist! What we do know is the truth; that it’s not a day where EVERYONE is feeling blue. But, it has the propensity to be a day where there might be ‘blueness’ in it, for reasons perhaps of post-Christmas debt, for reasons of the weather, etc etc. When we allow ourselves this wider perspective, this distance (the type of perspective that arises frequently with coaching) we give ourselves the distance and clarity to see that there are potentially elements in our lives, on this particular day that might need improving.
Yes, the weather might be absolutely shite today. But it doesn’t make it a grey (or in this case blue!) day. There’s just some greyness. If the grey skies bring unhappiness in us, maybe it’s an opportunity to consider relocating somewhere where the days have less grey in them? But perhaps that isn’t an option for all of us. So then we have a choice; we can either resist the grey, say how much we don’t like it, complain, be miserable and keep reinforcing this sense of unhappiness. Or, we can accept it. Embrace it. Recognise that without grey, we wouldn’t have an understanding for the stark contrast and beauty of the colour pink. Without greyness/clouds in the sky, we wouldn’t be able to appreciate the wonder and warmth of the sun.
Without greyness/clouds in the sky, we wouldn’t be able to appreciate the wonder and warmth of the sun.
So by recognising grey (or blue!), or the 10€ that remains in your bank today or the 1kg extra on your waist for what it is – just that – a colour, a number, a fact; and recognising the story we are inclined to attach to it, we become aware of our thought process. We set out our boundary lines between ourselves and the stories we attach to the facts taking place around us. We start to become aware of when we are having negative thoughts – and when we are having positive ones. And it is my firmly held belief that these thoughts invariably lead to our feelings over whether we are having a ‘Blue Monday’ or simply a Monday with some blueness in it.
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