Preparation is the key. But what if our own shadow is blocking the light from finding the keyhole?
How many times do we hear the phrase ‘preparation is key’. Fail to prepare and you prepare to fail… it’s a very simplistic, binary approach to understanding the world. You are good. You are not good. That is the rule.
Not really. At least, not in this house.
Such distinctions may help the other person, in this particular case, ‘the interviewer’ to frame your performance, but it doesn’t help you. Why? Because it’s not strictly the truth. Not your truth anyway…
So what is YOUR reality? There can be a number of reasons why we don’t always achieve our goals or targets. I like to think that you haven’t found that inspirational coach (yet) to help you get yourself there (shameless plug over, I promise). However, this is, in actual fact, the very beauty of coaching. It raises our awareness to our blindspots and helps us to lead a better version of our already best lives.
Coaching raises awareness to our blindspots and helps us lead a better version of our already best lives.
Talking with a friend recently, it came to light that they were more than prepared for their forthcoming interview. They had the knowledge, they had the experience, the enthusiasm, the ability to work as a team and manage improvement – they were able to demonstrate all of the key behaviours for their upcoming job with and to my understanding, evidence of such behaviours were likewise echoed by their colleagues.
But there was a problem. A block. An obstacle. My friend was unable to explain why, in repeated interviews previously, he had received rejection upon rejection. The feedback was always pleasant, never critical over their abilities, so what was it that was lacking?
It became apparent over a coffee that when they arrived at interview, it didn’t matter how great they were. THEY didn’t believe in how great they were. And if they didn’t know, how were they supposed to communicate that to their future employer?!
Were there reasons looking back into their life that had led to this crisis of confidence? Perhaps. But as a coach, I don’t look backwards – I direct focus forwards, to the future. The possibilities. My friend needed was a confidence boost. And quickly. And it had to come from within.
As a coach, I don’t look backwards – I direct focus to the future.
Midway into the second coffee, he was aware that he had more than enough to offer this employer. If fact, he was more than enough. HE. WAS. ENOUGH. But in the pressure of the interview space, with so many emotions and messages running through his brain, these thoughts would quickly become consumed. Panel interviews and the scrutiny they involve can be very unforgiving…
So we developed a little technique that could summon up from deep within their being, this confidence of self that was present in the cafe that very morning…
THE HACK
He sat down in-front of me like he would in an interview.
He thought of a time when he was at his most confident. For him, it was a time where he was cycling up a climb on a mountain having already cycled 300km… he felt invincible, like nothing could stop him.
I got him to close his eyes and to picture that moment and savour it. Remembering the smells, the people who were present, the sounds of the mountain, the scenery. THE FEELINGS that he felt at that time. Invincibility. Like some superpower. He felt great.
Then I asked him to play with his wedding ring. And I tell me more about the feeling on that cycle ride. The climb that day.
I suggested that later on he should relive this moment day in, day out for three weeks. To dedicate a small pocket of time to go back to that place, to that moment of invincibility and when he arrived in that space, he should touch his wedding ring.
Day by day, week by week, his ability to feel ‘invincible’ and confident with himself became both quicker and stronger.
When he got to his next interview, he didn’t get the job – but he did receive the feedback that he came across as capable and confident! It wasn’t long before he became truly unstoppable and invincible and got his new job.
It’s fun little hack that I tap into when I need that extra boost! For me, I use other triggers to summon up my cloak of invincibility.. it’s really whatever works best for you within the environment you find yourself. Good luck! And do let me know how you get on.
And one more thing…
Tapping into your ‘Assertiveness Tool Belt’ is one way in which you can drive higher performance in yourself, but more often than not, we have unique abilities and approaches that remain undiscovered. You can book in for a mapping session anytime with me to discover how we can co-create a relationship that will lead you to a better version of you. Your next step is right here.
